National News & Information >January 2008 Features

The idle thoughts of an idle editor by Jerry Flay

Another Christmas passed, another New Year, bringing with it the hopes and fears of an ever ageing man. Another grey hair, another twinge, another reminder of anno domini. Yet there are things to look forward to. Some trips to the river bank, maybe. A jaunt on the lake to try this new fangled jogging, or whatever it is called.

And, of course, there is the Christmas present to look forward to; what excitement; such keen anticipation. And yet it is another example of the fiendish ingenuity of Lady Voldemort. I write with no malice, of course, dear. I do not think of you as she who must not be named. In fact, I name you quite regularly, often in muttered tones through clenched teeth!

But back to the said gift, a present from the lady wife. As parents amongst you will know, Christmas is a time for giving, not for receiving. But show the man, or woman for that matter, who does not secretly hope for something nice at a time when they should be thinking of blowing that credit card limit on the children, and I’ll show you a non-angler.

As one breeds, so the Christmas budget sinks deeper into deficit, and it is inevitable that one dreams of some small compensation for such fiscal disaster -  a new rod perhaps, or that large arbour reel you have had your eye on.

And this year the Mrs did me proud. A small piece of paper. On it, the words “This voucher entitles the bearer to a day raft fishing the Tongariro”, and underneath, the legend (in very small print) “already paid for” – which to the uninitiated means “cannot be cancelled in the event of husbandly transgressions”.

Oh joy unconfined. A day raft fishing the pristine and hitherto unexplored (by me anyway) upper reaches of the mighty Tongariro. And there was more to come. It seems that a good mate of mine had received the same present, and being fishing buddies, it was all arranged that we would go together.

It sounded perfect.

Students of Machiavelli will of course be already biting their lip in anticipation. Nothing is ever so simple.

Come the first week of January, and brimming with excitement, I polished my rod, stroked my reels lovingly and called my mate.

“When shall we go? “ I asked.

And this is where you have to admire the truly fiendish subtlety of her plan.

“Well”, he replied, “I have been doing some research, and it seems the very best time is December.......”

Happy New Year

Jerry

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