National News & Information >November 2007 Features

The idle thoughts of an idle editor by Jerry Flay

All I want for Christmas........

Christmas is a time of year that can create panic – the mad rush for organisation, the scramble to get the presents sorted.

Thank fully this year, with the aid of a couple of catalogues and some excellent websites, I have been able to submit a full list to the wife of what I want, as well as highlighting a couple of smaller items which the children could give me. Thank God for fishing tackle!

Some of the choices weren’t easy, but I struggled manfully through the deliberation of Sage vs CD, Shimano or Hardy etc. I am confident that my Christmas will be a rewarding one, and, as we all know there is more pleasure in giving than receiving, I expect the Mrs and the little ones to share in, even surpass my delight when I unwrap my gifts.

Now before you lambast me as a selfish swine, I should point out that I too will participate in the giving side of things – not only will I be giving them some gifts of their own, the lucky blighters, but I will also be giving them the money to buy my presents.
Because Christmas is all about giving – the mother-in-law giving you a headache with her endless bellyaching about the softness of the bed you have graciously rented her at a substantial discount to your normal rates during the holiday period, the chuckle given by your $6.99 a pop crackers that contain a 30 cent novelty and a joke so funny it could have been written by Stephen Fleming,  and the acute feeling of nausea given to you by excessive food and drink consumed with such gusto on the great day itself.

I have devoted much mental time and energy, during the first advert break in last night’s excellent episode of Coronation Street, to the gifts I shall select for my nearest and dearest. Lady Voldemort, as I have jokingly taken to calling the wife, is in line for a new wading jacket. You need a bit of room in these jackets, I think, so I have selected one a bit bigger than her normal size – in fact, and entirely coincidentally, it would probably fit me.

Young Pippa, who will shortly turn three, is the lucky recipient of a new Jigging combo which I, I mean she, will be able to break in during our trip to Taupo, and Tom, at 15 months, has scored a very handy landing net. Shame on you fathers who have not lavished such well thought-out generosity on your children.

Being of Celtic origin, I have this year decided to take a stand and abandon our former allegiance to the American concept of turkey – we will be true to our roots and munch our way through a plate of smoked trout this Lammas. I have very sportingly offered to take a couple of days off to go and source this next week. Whilst away I will be testing a range of wines to ensure our repast is suitably accompanied.

In short I feel that this year I have got it sorted. I am all over Christmas like a cheap suit, and our little nuclear family will reap the rewards of such precise planning. I expect no thanks, of course. It is the role of the father to achieve such things.

But, as the alarm goes off at 2.45am to remind us that the Queen’s speech is about to start, I shall smile contentedly in the knowledge that the spirit of Christmas is safe and sound in our household in my stewardship.

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